Damsel In Distress

As much as I had hoped and planned for my first post-deployment entry here to obviously be a collective summary of my last six months, I regret to admit I have been lazy, and haven't gathered it all together yet. However, I had an interesting day, so I figured i would share the story with you all.

Let's start with how the whole thing started. I just returned from a grueling six month deployment, my life feels pointless as I have done nothing truly exciting in while, and have been in zombie auto-pilot for who knows how long. I get home amped up and ready to dive back into my routine random small adventures, but have found nothing. On top of this, I keep getting hit with bills, and car problems since I have been home, everyday there is a new hundred dollars i have to drop... (apparently falling back into my old routine is pretty expensive).

Anyways, last night was the first night I have gotten out and gotten to chill at Addy's house, drink a couple beers and got some chinese food. And I felt the occassion called for "Open Mic Night" at my favorite santuary "Fairgrounds Coffee". So Addy and me head out that way, I got my usual double vanilla latte, and our hopes fell apart when we found out that open mic is now on saturdays. However, it was still a good time to sit and chill. So, we pack up walk over across the street to the church where my car is at, and sure enough, i fell victim to desperate criminal act. My jeep was unlocked, yet, some person decided to smash my window out and steal my inspectection stickers out of my car. This act, though not to severe, rendered me helpless, for now i was vulnerable to mother nature's rain clouds, and incapable of legally getting through the security gates to get back on base.

So today, i begged for mercy from my division and my section leader to leave work and go fix the random items I needed. without hesitation, they let me go (which is not normal). I felt like i had been issued some good luck finally and headed out in the morning to take care of business.

Well, i got lost somewhere deep in the realms of what would be inbetween the suburbs and downtown norfolk. So, i casually pull into a burger king thinking it was a good idea; after all i did need to piss, and my stomach was talking crazy to me, so i figure "hey this works out, three birds with one stone (nutritious food, piss break, and directions) WRONG!

They didn't take credit cards.....which should have been my first sense of what was coming, like signs of the apocolypse. Then, i walk out to my car to get directions where i find a femenine guy hanging out near my car, although i was hesitant, i ventured towards in hopes of directions to my destination. Instead.... this delicate male destroyed my hopes by pointing out the river of antifreeze breaking the levees on the ground and flowing like lava down the pavement. My engine was erupting green boiling liquid, and smoke and steam was shooting out of my hood and i can assure you my face must have been the look of ideal horror, and the only words that came out of my mouth were "Oh FUCK!"

So, re-cap: I am young, white, broken window, in the ghetto, and the only person around offering me any help, is a Kind and delicate man holding a small chihuahua. Im my state of obvious chaos and obviously no resources of help due to the morning hour, and everyone being at work, i accepted his help as i had no other choices.

Well, awkward...yes.... uncomfrotable...yes...funny...yes..

Raymond was this guys name, and, as the lesson goes, never judge a book by its cover. This dude, opens up my hood, he's looking around and looks at me staring blankly at my engine with no idea, and he says (in a lispy tone)" You're like a little Damsthel in dithstress". I tried not to break into laughter and be a judgemental asswhole, because i was helpless at this point, and lost. Needless to say, he goes back to the engine after he realizes the weirdness radiating off of me, finds the problem...assures me he can fix it in like ten minutes if i went and got the part. So, asside from my usual judgement, i accepted his offer, and rode up the street to the Car quest to get the part. Obviously, he went in since he knew what he was talking about carrying his dog still, and being totally comically gay as you would imagine. It was totally stereotypical gay, accept he never mentioned or said he was. Which for me, i think is a huge part of being comfortable with the situation.

Needless to say, that was god laughing at how he works in mysterious ways i guess, me needing to learn not to judge people who are different. Not that i do necessarily, I just sometimes forget that people are very different.

Anyways, Raymond fixes this shit real quick, and i had been talking about my situation and he obviously noticed the broken window. So, on top of all this he tells me he knows a good place that fixes windows, and there is a place to get my car inspected right next store to it. So, i follow him a couple of miles to the Glass Masters, they order the glass for my window which took about an hour to get delivered from the a place near the beach, which gave me a minute to drive next door and get my car inspected. All in all, everything was fixed and working, and we shook hands and went our seperate ways. Nothing more to it.

I remember driving back to work later in the afternoon and just being like "Wow, my day fell apart so quickly, but was put back together by a strange man named raymond and his dog baxster. Sometimes things just aren't what they seem. I am not sure what to take from it all, i am still in shock and awe that a guy called me a "damsel in distress" lol...

But anyways, i hope thats the weird awkward story you have all been waiting for from me. Its good to be back somwhere on the edges of creativity and insanity again.

More stories and advice from the Dr. to come...