So anyways, i slept for about 18 hours since last night. Got out of bed around 7:30 tonight. I guess there is alot on my mind i dont wanna deal with so i just slept as long as i could to ignore it.
Probably the only thing i can really concentrate on is this weird stage of my life. Its like limbo. I stuck inbetween high school and the rest of my life. Only cause some of the people that work for our goverment are a bunch of losers. And they enjoy taking their sweet god damn time on getting me into the military.
My constant dilema is the fact that i am stuck. Stuck in flushing, stuck in a shitty job, and no promise on paper that its going to change. I feel like one of those kids who graduates high school and does nothing with there life after it.
I guess the whole problem with me in flushing isnt that bad, in fact it could be far worse. I could have no plan of attack on what i was doing. But what really bothers me is the lack of good company. Its strange ya know, forgetting all your best friends, them forgetting you. But the difference between them and me is they moved on. I got left behind, which is what bothers me. Everyone moved out before me, everyone met new friends and great people and are having new experiences to fill the void they left behind. Then there is my situation, i have this huge void, but nothing to replace it with, and i just feel empty.
Emptyness is the worse thing in the world. Cause there is no real motivation behind it. You yearn for the change everyone else had, and you know its on its way....but it seems really fuckin far away so you tend to obsess on how long and far away it is, which makes it all that much worse.
Even when your friends that left want to see you and have you come visit them it just doesnt help much. Cause your going to just meet their new friends and never really know any of them on a personal level and you come home feeling just as empty.
Now this isnt a pity me exerpt, or anything of that magnitude. I need to document the dilema so i can reflect upon it. And its not anything i consider important, but rather annoying that i am stuck in the situation and i am not a "stay in one place" type person. I just want to get out, and keep going, and look back at this stage of limbo and say " I never wanna fucking be there again "
My inspiration to make something of myself, inspiration to keep going and never stop, and to realize that there is more outside of this hellhole i call.. Flushing, Michigan
>>>> by the way, i dont forget my good company that i once had. In fact, i remember them all to perfectly. the town isnt the same without them, the coffee doesnt taste as good, the nights are optionless, and the conversations go nowhere nowadays. But i idolize those memories and wouldn't change them for the world, cause there wasnt better company out there than i had here. And if any of you guys/girls read this, and i never see you again, then good luck on everything, and i shall leave you with a qoute from a very respectable cartoon super hero....
"The power is yours"
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