%&*%#W^(&#&(@#%(* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Yeah..im pissed

But im not gonna take it out on anyone... but yeah

So anyways, everythings different now, it sucks.

You ever wonder why you can get so caught up on something you shouldn't? and when you realize how worthless it is to pursue you still try. And even when you know you gotta just forget about it you cant. Well thats how i feel. Its hopeless. So fuck it.

Halloween is gonna be a blast. CMU is where its at this year. kegs, jungle juice, and ice luge...what more can you ask for in a party? Hopefully freaky girls who like nine inch nails. But my luck it will be stupid ass sorority girls. But the ice luge will make up for it.

You know somethin...off the subject, but i really admire late night workers at 24 hour food places like tim hortons. The guy who works there is the shit. No matter how messed up i am he still takes my order with pride and is always eager to please. No matter how many times he has to tell me what kind of donuts or cookies he still has left. I think i am gonna give him a trophy or something.

Well, now that all else failed, and i have officially given up...im going to bed. it was fun while it lasted, and so sad that its gone. goodnight

Queit...the walls have ears. And scandelous behavior will be disclosed to the world.

Sorry to post twice in one night, but when i need to write i need to write.

It always boggles my mind when everything is just how you want it and maybe things are starting to fall into place, or into a better place, that the unexpected happens.

Sometimes the only real struggle i have is trying to read certain individuals. Some people are just really hard to judge. I think thats why some of us have problems with change. They dont wanna have to read people, and do the whole trial and error thing. It sucks though and i can see why everyone gets frustrated with it.

You spend so much time predicting a situation and you predict right up till everything is where you want it. Then a person throws something at ya that you never expected and you lose all your plans up till that point and start from ground zero and work back to where you were or move onto a new situation. Thats the other difficult part. Is sometime you want everything to come together one way and it never does, and you keep trying and trying. Its situations like that where you need to start over and move to something else. But like i said, sometimes you just keep trying cause something says you should even though it seems so god damn stupid and wrong.

On a lighter not, i get work off for a week, my brother is home from overseas, and to say in the least, im in my spot!!!

Coolest thing about coming down here was goin out on my brothers ship for two days. I went to the smoke deck at night and you could look all around in everydirection and alls i saw was water, sky and stars. Being there i realized my insignificance, but understood my importance, and was in awe of everythings simplicity.

Don't forget the simplicity everyone.....don't forget it..

Well, not to much goin on lately. My first break from work in monthes and im in VA beach. Not to mention there are a bunch of jersey girls here with us. ot

I am not sure how many of you people out there believe in paranormal activity but after last night i do. They told me the house was haunted and last night i was the last one awake in the house and was watching tv when all these strange noises started up. Not normal noises either, it was weird.

Anyways, im gonna go and eat my donuts now, more to come soon.

Thought of this earlier?

leivelvileilleivleivevilevillievililivllilvielivleivleilivelivelivelivelivelevlievlielvilevievleivlileivlievevlievilevlievlielivelili

crazy


I feel the urge to disappear for a few years. Go see the world. Only to come back and tell of the stories of the people i met and the things i saw... Hoping to prove to everyone that there is more to our lives then "This"

I think most kids in the point in there life are starting to understand its their time to add their input into the world. Most of us have left the nest, others are just about at that point. Everyone is searching for what they really wanna do. Some want to survive, some want to live, and others just want to prosper. I think i am one of the ones who wants to live. As in do everything i can in my lifetime. Not be held back. I don't want to own, i want to maintain, and provide, and create.

Random ramblings..... sorry

The key, which inspires, and immortalizes creativity....

Open.. numbed

and there....... perfect

Sways and bends , climbs to perfect...

then better. sways, to a roll.

down down down down

holding in that indescribable mood, forever moved

"Threated by shadows at night
and Exposed in the light"

Did we forget everything, or find nothing?

and then we fell.. wide eyed and sharp stares

Blinding..

"remember when we were young
we shined like the sun.."

Where do i go from here?

Fuck the indescribable urge to do what i want. Fuck eveyone that can't sit and chill, and especially, capital FUCK anyone who watches the USA made for tv movie about the D.C. Sniper. Fucking sick fucks. Imagine what the people who lost family in that incident will think when they are channel surfing and catch a seen of some actor portraying their love one get sniped.

It's a mad mad world out there and i hope you all have the conscience arsenal needed to battle it.

I need it, i want it, i like it, i felt it, i touched it, i tasted it.

Its just the way it is, perfect blue sky, clouds out the corner of the eye,
And when it all comes down, I don't despise, cause my life is mine.

Parallel universe, and multidimensioned rooms in the center of my head,
all i hear is the "hushhh"
but i feel like the "AHHHH"
All i needed was your touch
And when i ask myself if i'd need it, if id want it, if i could feel it, and if i could touch it, or taste it again...

Its like dream, nothin is what it seems..........